Misconceptions About Kink I Wish People Didn’t Have

So I saw a post on here asking what misconceptions people have about kink that those of us into kink wish said people didn’t, or wouldn’t have.  Rather than hijack that post with a screed, I thought it’d be better if I just write my own post.  So here goes.

  • Misconception: The idea that everyone in the BDSM community likes everything.  Yeah, that’s not true.  Some bottoms like to receive pain, some don’t.  Some tops consider themselves sadists, others don’t.  Some of us like hot wax poured on us, others don’t.  Some of us like anal sex, others don’t.  And so on and so forth.
  • Misconception: The idea that femdom is role reversal.  It isn’t.  Female dominants are NOT trying to be men, they don’t want their male submissives to be women.
  • Misconception: The idea that those of us who engage in BDSM, whether it be ONLY IN THE BEDROOM, once in awhile at the weekend, or 24/7, are somehow all perverts and sex offenders who are unfit to intermingle with the rest of society.  Yeah, that’s not true.  We’re your neighbors, your co-workers, we wait on you in shops, style your hair, we are perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation about many things other than nipple clamps and the St. Andrew’s Cross.  We are not going to molest you on the rush hour train to or from the office.

Misconception: That the DD/lg dynamic promotes child pornography, kiddie rape, and/or condones the use of minor children in a sexual performance.  This particular misconception angers me, pisses me off, to a level I can’t even explain, because I’m both a survivor of childhood sexual assault and an lg in the DD/lg dynamic.  DD/lg is between consenting adults, the lg in every DD/lg relationship I know is always 18 or older on her birth certificate,and nobody is advocating for child pornography, kiddie rape, or anything in that vein.

I don’t know what Vanilla relationships are, or are about.  So, Vanilla people, please don’t pretend to know me.