Be careful,

mommy dearest.  Your narcissistic borderline personality is showing. Of your three grown children, I’m the only one who emailed you the pictures of your grandchildren from Easter.  And after I transferred all 48 pictures from the camera’s memory card to the computer & sent them, you bitched that I “can’t do anything right” because you thought I didn’t send you ALL the pictures (when really the problem was you didn’t realize you had to scroll down to actually SEE them all).  

I’m also the one who installs the updates on your iPhone (fuck, I got you the iPhone); I spent forty minutes explaining that you can’t send a text message to your hair stylist’s landline phone (or any other landline phone, for that matter).  You want to go shopping, it’s me who goes with you, not either of your other daughters.  

You’re either putting me down or making me your sidekick.  Or maybe you keep putting me down BECAUSE you need someone to be your sidekick, to drop everything and run to Roosevelt Field mall with you.  The fact that I have my own life, my own shit to do, inconveniences and enrages you.  

Tell me, what would you do if I went to Penn Station & got on an Amtrack train and just went…Arizona, Colorado, anywhere really.  Because the thing is I could live without you.  Hell, it would be a nice change with no you squawking about how I can’t do anything right AND SIMULTANEOUSLY asking me to help you put a new contact in your cell phone.  But you, you’d shrivel up without me, see, because you’d have nobody else.  So remember that the next time you’re getting ready to tell me I can’t do anything right.

8 thoughts on “Be careful,

  1. I’m afraid the ‘I spent forty minutes explaining that you can’t send a text message to your hair stylist’s landline phone’ made me laugh, but being serious I do feel for you 🙂

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  2. I will say this. My Nonna and Godmother had a similar relationship to this. They were the closest of my Nonna’s three daughters. She was always the hardest and most controversial with my Godmother. In her final months in the hospital my Godmother asked her why all those years she was so tough on her, so judgmental and treated her differently then her other daughters. Her response “because I can”. And you may take that as a bad thing. But in reality it means that she felt closest and most secure with her because of how close they were to tell her what she really thought rather than sugar coating it. And this is a rare relationship to have with another person.

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    1. My mother isn’t just “tough” on me. She refused to take maternity leave when I was born, leaving me in the care of her own mother (who I called mamma, while I address my mother by her name) two weeks after I was born because she didn’t like being home and wanted to be back at work; Saturdays, the one day we had with her growing up, she put me, my sisters, & our father in the basement, so we were out of her way while she cleaned…she would take a mid-day break to beat us; in high school I got a D in math & she made me kneel before her and say “I’m shit” and then she beat me; my mother is abusive, not a nice person. As a 38 year old sober woman I understand that she herself was sexually abused by her father, and I’m trying to forgive her for everything she’s done. But it’s difficult when she continues to do it.

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