Most Friday nights I go to The Postmark Cafe, a hole in the wall coffee house in Park Slope. From 7:45-9:30 they have something called The Living Room Show, an intimate stand up comedy show. Four, maybe five up and coming entertainers trying out new material. I like it because I don’t have to pay a cover charge, and while beer and wine are available, it’s an activity that doesn’t revolve around drinking. Which is nice if you’re a non-drinker (or a recovering alcoholic).
One Friday night at The Postmark Cafe, I met young Jules (his name is actually just Jules, but he’s a decade younger than me). He was good-looking (if a bit hipsterish in dress) and we chatted a bit. He lives in Manhattan (very un-hipsterish) and, at the end of the show, he said,
I’ll message you the next time I’m coming to the show so we can meet up here.
Which was cool with me. Good-looking guy can message me whenever he wants. So Thursday he messages me he’s coming and wants to meet up at the Postmark Cafe. Again, cool.
I get myself together yesterday and about a half hour before I left the house, young Jules messages me to say he has to cancel. Not a big deal, because our plans were never written in stone. I went (because my hair looked good and I didn’t want to waste that at home), I met some new people, and had a great time.
My youngest sister, who usually comes with me to The Living Room Show at The Postmark Cafe on Friday nights, wasn’t with me last night. On Thursday when young Jules messaged me and said he wanted to meet up, I told my sister about that and she made other plans so as to not be a third wheel with me and him. Was nice of her to give me my space.
She had already left her apartment when he messaged me to cancel. So it was after midnight last night (or this morning?) when I spoke to my sister & told her how my night was. . She said,
What you fail to realize is that people these days don’t date one person at a time. They date several people at a time & there’s an order. There’s the person they really want to be with, there’s their second favorite person, there’s someone they tolerate, & there’s the one they go with when they have nothing else to do. He may have planned to meet up with you because he thought he didn’t have anything else to do, and then when something or someone better came along, he ditched you.
And I get what she’s saying. If young Jules should message me again saying he wants to meet up, I’m going to remember how I wasn’t his first choice and maybe not answer him so fast.