Love yourself challenge 

Day 4–Write about one thing you need to forgive yourself for, and then forgive myself.  

So many transgressions I’ve committed (I won’t say “sins”) because that’s a word organized religion invented to make people feel guilty about having done things that feel good while we’re doing them.  

But I need to forgive myself for having betrayed a woman.  I betrayed her (without ever having met her) by sleeping with her husband from 2010-2012, all the while KNOWING HE WAS A MARRIED MAN and that’s not ok.  I was an active alcoholic, I suffered from untreated depression & low self esteem at the time, but that doesn’t make it any less my fault.  Sure, a married man stepped outside his marriage and came looking for someone else, but I never said “This isn’t right…go home to your wife,” until I got sober.  And even when I did get sober, I didn’t stop seeing him because he was married, I stopped seeing him because he was abusive and, once sober (and in treatment for depression) I decided that I like myself too much to stay in an abusive relationship.  I didn’t decide it was wrong to betray another woman.  

But it is, it is completely wrong to betray someone by sleeping with their partner.  I’ve always known that, but now, as a sober woman, I’m very careful about what I do and who I talk to.  I find out a man is in any kind of a monogamous relationship and that man automatically becomes off-limits to me.  

I don’t ever want to be the thing that wrecks someone else’s marriage.  I don’t need a jealous/angry girlfriend shouting “Homewrecker, how could you,” into my face.  The next time a man steps outside his relationship to look for something else and finds me, I’m sending him right back where he came from.  I can’t undo what I did between 2-5 years ago, but I won’t do it again.  

I forgive myself for having slept with another woman’s husband, though.  It was a shitty thing to do, but that was kinda my life at the time…all I did was shitty things, all I made were bad decisions.  I forgive myself not because I think I’ve become such a wonderful person, but rather because I know forgiveness is necessary for me to move on with my life.  

2 thoughts on “Love yourself challenge 

  1. First of all, I love this challenge! Second of all, I’m glad you find it in your heart to forgive yourself for this transgression. He was likely abusive to his wife as well, so hopefully she’s told him to fuck off by now. Happy New Year!

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