I’m just saying 

I find these images of female nudity so much more erotic than Kim Kardashian-West posing bare-ass on a magazine cover.  Is it because this woman is wearing her original face and body (while Mrs. Kardashian-West “has had work done”), or is it because this woman may have been posing for a lover (while Mrs. Kardashian-West refuses to live even a millisecond of her life off-camera)?  I don’t know.  Wait, yes I do, it’s all of the above.

18 Ways I Don’t Want You To Prove Your Masculinity To Me

5th1. By getting in a fight. Guess what, boo? I didn’t want to bang you before you cracked that dude’s head against a wall, and I sure as fuck do not wanna drop trou now. 2. By bragging about how much money you make. Holy shit, guy. Tell me the part about how you’re gonna…


Yeah I want to add to this.

-The bit about wearing muscle tees when it’s cold out, that’s a valid point.  But gentlemen, you must also remember that muscle tees are for when you have muscles.  If you look like Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire, you can rock that muscle tee.  If you look like Marlon Brando in The Godfather, a muscle tee is not your friend.  In fact, it’s no longer a muscle tee, it’s a belly shirt.  

-That bit about not looking like you have dried poo under your nails.  It’s true…dirty fingernails are unattractive, not manly.  But while you’re cleaning the gunk out from under your fingernails (or, dare I say it, getting a manicure), maybe you CLIP YOUR GODDAMN TOENAILS.  You want to see us naked, and we like when you take your socks off to come to bed.  We don’t like when your long, raggedy big toenail scratches us.  We don’t think you’re more of a man because you never clip your toenails, we think it’s gross.

-About overgrowth of facial hair.  Grow a beard, be the rugged type.  Just trim it when you start looking like Tom Hanks in Castaway.    And remember, eyebrows, there should be two of them.

-About getting into fights.  Getting into fights every time we go out doesn’t make you a man, it makes you an asshole; it makes you reckless; it makes you someone I cannot trust.  I didn’t get all dressed up to stand outside the club and watch you knock the teeth out of another man’s head.  You wanna box, take yourself to a boxing gym and do it there.  

Love yourself challenge 

Day 28–Write about how this Self Love Challenge made you feel and how you have changed.

I don’t know that I changed all that much in these past 28 days.  I have, however, made some big changes in my life in the past few years…I got sober, I went into therapy, and while I haven’t accepted any religious faith, I have been going to a monthly Buddhist sit (nor because I have a desire for the austere life of a monastic, but more because the loving kindness preached at those sits is different & so much better than what I grew up with), I’ve become more social. It’s the changes I made in my life, the steps I took towards personal growth, that have made it possible for me to like (or even tolerate) the woman in the mirror.  This challenge has been a great way to share my experience with all of you, and also to remind myself of how much I’ve accomplished.  

Let’s not be those people 


So they’re (and really I don’t even know who THEY is) putting up these ads putting the onus for rape squarely on the rapist.  Letting males know that sex with a female who is unable to consent is actually sexual assault & not to be that guy (the guy who commits sexual assault).  

Obviously someone who is unconscious is unable to consent to sex (or to anything else, for that matter) & so you’d think a guy would understand how and why climbing atop a passed out female is a bad thing to do.  

But what about intoxicated females who are conscious.  How many drinks/how drunk is “too drunk” to consent?  Who decides how drunk is too drunk to consent?  I mean, the young woman who wobbles as she walks & slurs her words is visibily intoxicated, but the girl who’s been quietly drinking wine all night might not look so obviously wasted.  And how does a man determine if and when a woman is too drunk to consent?  Does he administer a field sobriety test before taking the woman to bed?  

There are (and there will be) grey areas, especially in instances where both parties are drinking.  There was a time, in what we call “the bad ol’ days”, when a woman who went to a party, had a few drinks, and had sex was automatically branded a slut (and promptly shamed for being a slut).  Now it seems any man who goes to a party and has sex is automatically branded a rapist, and the feminists are telling us to call this progress.  

More often than not, the truth is somewhere in between the two extremes.  Every woman who goes to a party and enjoys herself is not a slut (and shouldn’t be branded as such), & every man who goes to a party and enjoys himself is not a rapist (and shouldn’t automatically be branded as such).   How about we have actual factual information before throwing such words around.

Plus size, I don’t have a problem with 

Size 22 model Tess Holliday slams the ‘silly’ full-figured fashion stars who want to ba… – Daily Mail https://apple.news/AVabaNSERQa2w-H2VyafSzQ
You can say I’m plus size.  You could even open a place called 

THE FAT LADY THRIFT STORE, and sell discounted designer clothing for the full-figured woman, and I’d show up there to shop.  I wouldn’t be offended or anything.

I don’t mind being called curvy either, or voluptuous, or zaftig.  

  • What I don’t like is when I go to Macys & the size 20 jeans that fit me are in someplace called the Womens department, while the size 6 jeans my sister wears are in what’s called the Missy Department.  Is my sister not a woman (she’s given birth to two children, I assure you all she’s not a man or a child).  Also, the Womens Department is always in some far-flung corner of the store…does Macys want me to be ashamed of the fact that I am the size of a woman?  Maybe they do, because when I look at the plus size clothes in their catalog, it’s always a woman my size 6 sister’s build modelling the clothes that are supposed to be cut to fit my body.  I think maybe macys would rather I didn’t exist, or rather they like my money but they don’t actually want to SEE my fat ass in their store.  

Love yourself challenge 

Day 26–Write about one thing that makes you unique and different from everyone else.

Well…I’m left-handed (although my mother tried to beat me until I switched to writing with my right hand); I have a really good memory (seriously, at 38 years old I can remember being a munchkin in a highchair & my mother shouting at me to “CHEW WITH YOUR BACK TEETH!” and then leaving my grandmother to finish feeding me because I wouldn’t follow her instructions), I had my first glass of wine when I was ten years old (that day was a day of firsts), I grew up in a house where the mother was the de facto man of the house & my father, while physically present, wasn’t really there.

A lot of things make me unique and different from everyone else.  Some good and others not so good.  But I’m still here, I survived, and I remember everything.  

Love yourself challenge 

Day 25–Tape/glue a picture of something or someone that makes you feel good.

That’s my niece and nephew, dressed up for “picture day” at school (school being the daycare they spend the days at while my sister is at work).  In case you can’t tell, my niece is the boss/ringleader of everything and everyone that comes in front of her (my sister once said she asked my niece “are you going to do what I said or do you want a time out?” And my niece (who was 3 at the time) said “When you’re nice!”. My nephew, at nearly two years old, is just now putting words together.  

Anyway these two munchkins make me happy just because they’re always happy to see me.  They always wanna play, they think of me as a big kid rather than an adult, and they’re two completely different personalities already, which is great.