If I were to come to your home…
- And look in the refridgerator, what would I see? Milk, eggs, a tray of leftover lasagna…a carton of cigarettes I’m keeping fresh, a pitcher of filtered water.
- And open your front room closet or hall closet, what would I see? A goddamn mess, that’s what. The closet in the foyer is a dumping ground for umbrellas, extension cords, vacuum cleaner attachments, a rattan cane that once belonged to my late grandfather, and various other junk we like to keep hidden out of sight.
- And open the top left drawer of your dresser, what would I see? Top left dresser drawer is my everyday watch, some necklaces, bracelets, earrings.
- And go to your bedroom and look under the bed, what would I see? Very little dust, I hope, seeing as how I run the vacuum three times a week.
- And look under your basement stairs, what would I find? Canned goods, I shit you not, in t he event the apocalypse comes, I have enough canned goods to last me awhile.
Bonus: When visiting other people’s homes and using the bathroom-friends, relatives, parties-do you look in their medicine chest? Of course I do. It’s a breech of the “host-guest bond”, it’s a violation of their trust, but I have zero scruples, so yeah, I do it.