Day 4: Do you switch into a Dominant role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you maintain control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given any though to why it’s not for you?
In my mind, a Domme/Dominatrix/Mistress is the woman in the fierce leather boots who wields a whip or a crop. She keeps her male and/or female slaves in line, and she’s scary (the sort of woman whom I would rather put my head into the oven than disappoint). I respect those women, I understand their kink, but I’m not them.
While I never switch into a Dominant role at any time, I DO have a bit of the brat, even the SAM (smart ass masochist) in me at times, that sassy lil miss who says things like, “Oh yeah, Daddy, MAKE ME stop lookin’ at my phone when we’re at dinner” to get the spanking I want and need.
I know exactly why switching/being a Domme isn’t for me, I’ve known for quite some time. I grew up watching my mother be the aggressor in my parents’ marriage. I saw her belittle my father (like when she told him he was “a bitch with no balls”), body-shame him (the many times she said he was “fatness personified” in his suit as they were about to go out to a formal event), physically strike him, threaten to castrate him (and she would threaten to castrate him while holding a knife). My parents are together 44 years (they celebrated that anniversary last month) and I don’t know if they practice BDSM (at their age if they were into that, they’d most likely identify as “swingers” and remember key parties from the seventies) and I don’t know if my father enjoys the way my mother treats him (it’s not the thing he’d discuss with me or my sisters. I know that I didn’t enjoy watching my mother ride roughshod over my father, and as much as she raised me to believe that the correct thing is to talk down to a man, to treat him as though he’s a dog who deserves to drink from the toilet rather than a person who has every right to eat at the same table as I do, I decided I WILL NOT BE LIKE HER…I find her treatment of my father (and other men, it’s not just him, but she’ll spit at salesmen, tell repairmen they can’t use the bathroom at her house) so repellent I don’t even want ot play the role of a Domineering woman in a scene.