30 Days of Submission/Being Little

Day One: Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Well I’m female and I’m heterosexual, that’s first and foremost, so I’m seeking a male partner in any and all of my romantic relationships.  I’m a submissive, but that term submissive encompasses so many things within BDSDM, that it’s not enough, so I don’t leave it at that when defining myself.  I mean, it’s certainly different to be a sub than to be a Domme, and please be advised that I do NOT switch, I’m only a bottom.  I’d say “to narrow it down” I’m a Little, but even that doesn’t really narrow it down, because there’s all kinds of Littles, as I’ve come to find out from going to munches and play parties.  There’s ABDL-types, there are those who identiry as toddler or preschool aged, or as five or six or around that age range.  Then there’s me, I’m what I call a Middle (although I prefer the term Lolita), and if you’ve read the novel Lolita or seen the film by the same title, you might have somewhat of an idea what a Middle is.  When I’m in Middle space (and yes, Middle space is a thing, if Little space is a thing, then Middle space is one too) I’m kind of a perpetual fifteen year old.  I love to play my music loud (and it’s 90’s music, the same stuff I was listening to when I really WAS 15), I love fashion, clothes, makeup, my hair, smoking cigarettes and hoping none of the “adults” in my life find out, spending way too much money at lunch with my friends when I only have so much money & that’s got to last me the week (and I have to buy cigarettes, get my nails done, and various other expenses, all because I budget like a teenager), swearing when I don’t get my way, lusting after older men because they’re gorgeous, having a stack of magazines as high as my hip in a corner of my room (and I’m  gonna read them, I swear, I won’t just leave them there till kingdom come like my mother thinks I will), wondering if that’s a zit on my chin…you get the idea.

I’m presently single, but ideally, I want to be owned/adopted by a strong, loving Daddy Dom.  I don’t want to adult…things like balancing the checkbook, mowing the lawn, planning elaborate vacations, remembering where my passport is at any given moment, do not appeal to me.  And I freely admit that these things do not appeal to me.  I need spankings (maintenance spankings, therapy spankings, sexy spankings), I’m enough of a masochist to be into the flogger, the crop, and YES, even the cane.  Breathplay excites me, as does anal penetration.  But knifeplay and fireplay scare the shit out of me and I don’t consent to those.  What I want isn’t 100%  S & M, but it’s not all D/s either.  I don’t think it should have to fit neatly into any one category.

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