So I guess I was in junior high the first time I got the “don’t do drugs” speech. Mind you, nobody told us (us being my seventh grade class) specifically which drugs we were supposed to NOT do, just that there were drugs, and not to do them. In high school, we started making the discovery of liquor (every weekend either me or my cousin or some friend would get a bottle out of our parents’ liquor cabinet) and we would commence to get shitfaced, and we also discovered cigarettes (cigarettes were $2.25) a pack back then, and we could scrounge up enough loose change from under couch cushions for a pack. Now we didn’t consider cigarettes and alcohol to be drugs at fourteen and fifteen because cigarettes and alcohol were perfectly LEGAL (OK we weren’t “of age” to purchase either, but nobody did 5 years for possession of vodka). As long as we weren’t snorting, shooting up, or anything like that, we didn’t consider ourselves to be using drugs. Which was good, because, as we’d been told since junior high, we shouldn’t do drugs. Drugs were bad.
Cut to now and I’m 38 years old. I am almost 3 years sober (sober as in I quit drinking and am in a twelve step program). I’m also treating with a psychiatrist because I have depression. I’m unemployed, and recently my lovely Medicaid insurance has lapsed due to some glitch (I’m not going to explain because it’s only going to make me mad) and so, I have three days left of my antidepressants. Yes, that’s right, my psychiatrist prescribes me drugs to treat my depression. Because, as it turns out, not ALL drugs are bad ALL the time for ALl the people. Sometimes some people need specific doses of certain drugs in order to help them lead better, more productive lives. And this is not a post about me asking that everybody please donate a dollar each so I can have Prozac, no, I don’t expect anyone else to pay. This is a post about how times, things, situations, and people have changed. When I was twelve it was “drugs are bad” and there was no negotiation about it. Now I’m 38 and it’s “alcohol is a bad drug for me, but Prozac is a good drug, one that helps” and I don’t know what’s going to happen if I can’t get this shit straightened out before I run out of pills.