And the Marquis de Sade said “I’ve already told you: the only way to a woman’s heart is along the path of torment. I know none other as sure.”
Ok, so I don’t know who the “you” is that de Sade claims to have ALREADY TOLD this to (the guy sitting next to him on Ye olde barstool, perhaps) but not only is what he’s talking about true, it’s the most natural thing in the world. Ladies, if you don’t believe it, think back…way, WAY back to your sandbox days. Remember that boy who used to pull your pigtails, push you down, hell, maybe he even slapped you while he was at it, and he DEFINITELY took your toys. You didn’t like that little bastard, you went home & complained to mommy about him (we ALL did). Remember what our mothers said? “He only does those things because HE LIKES YOU”. Yeah, we didn’t like the little fucker any better when we found out he liked us & putting gum in our hair was his way of showing it, but hell, we were four, what did we know?
We didn’t have to know when we were four. Those same little bastards who put gum in our hair were still at it when we got to be 7, 8, 12. Only by the time we got to be 12 they’d moved on to snapping our bra straps in history & by then we not only knew why they did what they did, we were ready to play back. Yup, all those years they’d been pulling hair, taking toys, throwing food, we’d been watching them. And by the time we actually started PLAYING BACK, two important things had happened: 1) we knew the game, from watching them, & 2) we’d grown our boobs, also known as having something they wanted. So yeah, they were still going to torment us until we loved them, but we were going to point out boobs at them, say “look but don’t touch” for all of junior high & effectively torment them right back.
People say the Marquis de Sade is perverse, but all he describes is a grown up version of what begins in every sandbox.